


Flawed Intentions

by sunlightonwater (TFA_finn_poe_shipper)



Category: Star Wars Episode VII: The Force Awakens (2015)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Bodyguard, Alternate Universe - Modern Setting, Anxiety, Armitage is going by the name Brendol in this fic, Blood and Injury, Character Death, Coercion, Dissociation, Finn knows something we don't know, Friends to Lovers, Jealousy, Love Triangles, M/M, Manipulation, One-Sided Attraction, Organized Crime, POV Finn (Star Wars), Panic Attacks, Pining, Sexual Content, Sexual Tension, Slow Burn, Stalking, Unreliable Narrator, Unrequited Love, Violence, mafia
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-10-17
Updated: 2017-06-25
Packaged: 2018-08-23 00:36:56
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 7,570
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8307061
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/TFA_finn_poe_shipper/pseuds/sunlightonwater
Summary: Laying on Finn’s bed was a tall man with one leg stretched out and the other bent at the knee. His hands were crossed behind his head, and they locked eyes as soon as Finn stepped through the door. He was dressed in all black, but that was just his M.O.“What- the fuck are you doing here, Kylo?” Finn didn’t try to hide the accusation in his voice.Kylo simply looked up at him through his lashes, and smiled.





	1. Setting the Trap

**Author's Note:**

> Thank you Stormsith for this wonderful prompt:  
> Maybe Finn is the son of the Mafia head, however he rejects the criminal life and becomes a detective or reporter trying to take down his own family? However there are plans for him to take over as head soon whether he wants to or not. Maybe Kylo is the right hand of Head and is quite dangerous. Maybe Finn and Kylo have known each other for years, (and maybe they’re in love or it’s one sided or whatever). When Finn becomes the Head Kylo will be working under him but he can see that Finn is having second thoughts? 
> 
> Any comments are greatly appreciated.

  

**_Please join the Hux family for our annual_ **

**_WINTER GALA_ **  

 

 

> **_Saturday, December 17 th_ **
> 
> **_7:00 pm to 12:00 am_ **
> 
> **_Cocktails – Dinner - Dancing_ **
> 
> **_Tampa Convention Center_ **
> 
> **_Theme: Formal Masquerade_ **

 

Finn’s discovery in the mail left his eyes opened wide in shock. Held between his gloved thumb and index finger he examined the glossy paper. He held it as far from his body as possible, even if there was little chance of it being poisoned. This ticking time bomb was a custom-made invitation of royal blue and gold snowflakes for the winter gala.

Typical, was the best way to describe this invitation except there was no return envelope or an option to decline. Assuming he wouldn’t receive an invite this year, Finn couldn’t stop the frown or the crease on his forehead. The fact that he received one at all showed his family didn’t take his defection seriously. “Dammit”, he muttered under his breath. Biting his lip, his next move felt uncertain. One did not say no to the Hux family lightly, even if one was also a member of said family. 

It would be an insult, and insulting a Hux was never considered a wise decision. Unable to find a quick solution he tried to clear his thoughts. “Dammit!”, after several minutes of quiet reflection proved futile.

Stomping through the office door, he dropped a matching invite on the desk of his loyal assistant Slip. That wasn’t his real name of course, but most people he knew appreciated the value of nicknames. 

Slip was one of Finn’s closest friends. When Finn finally made the decision to leave the family business Slip wasn’t far behind. 

Finn was young and he was bright. He didn’t fail to miss that his father only agreed to let him leave the Order under one condition. Slip must accompany him always.  The rule was probably for the best. Who Finn shares a last name with is no secret, and thus he is always a target.

If childhood friend and personal assistant wasn’t enough to connect the two together, Slip was also his bodyguard. By most accounts he wasn’t a highly skilled one, but Finn’s father valued having people watch your back that you can trust. So, his father allowed it. The older Hux however was more practical than sentimental, so he sent one of his personal guards to discreetly keep an eye on his youngest son. Although this guard kept a low profile, Finn could always sense that the older man was never too far out of sight.

The Hux family didn’t do themes for their winter gala often, but Finn used to enjoy those events the most. Dropping the extra invite on Slip’s desk, Finn asked about his first appointment for the day.

“Let’s see. Her name is Sana…Solo, or Starros. I’m not sure. Basically, her message said she’s looking for her husband who she claims conned her, and ran off with some chick named… Leia?” Slip shook his head. _Why do people still fall for these con artists_?

Finn sighed and ran his hand down his face. The day just started and he was already tired. Although business was good he usually never got anything more interesting than this; finding people so they could be taken to court.

 _Honest Investigations_ was Finn’s company that he financed himself using his military stipend. Even though it wasn’t very stimulating work, Finn preferred doing something that wasn’t connected to his family.

“Send her in…5 minutes”, he replied after glancing at his watch. Then he retreated to his private office.

It was always expected that he would finish his time in the military and then join the family business like his older brother Brendol. The look on his father’s face when he said he was cutting off ties was not one he would soon forget. The amused smirk sent his anxiety through the roof.

His father agreed to it though, although sometimes he worried that it was all too easy. His family was not one you could just walk away from. The fact that his father had to permit it at all constantly hung over his head. Finn didn’t truly feel free of them, he felt permitted to entertain a whim. It was sort of like the saying of sowing your wild oats before committing to a relationship. His family assumed that after he had some time to do what he wanted, he would return more dedicated to the Order.

His meeting with Sana left him a little bit frazzled. She wanted to skip the usual pleasantries and get right to business. It looked like she had recently acquired a large inheritance and in swooped this Han fella. Apparently he was super suave and they got married six months after meeting. Another three months after that he was gone. Just after he emptied their joint account. Now Sana wanted Finn to find Han so she could give him a piece of her ~~fist~~ mind.

Slip chuckled when Sana left the company’s suite. He wasn’t sure how long Finn was going to stick with this investigative thing, and he shook his head because he knew about Finn’s love-hate feelings about it.

Sliding into Finn’s office, Slip stood in front of his desk with his thumbs hooked in his pants pockets. “So, who’s gonna be your plus one this year?” Slip tried not to sound overly interested.

“You know I’m not going”, Finn said sternly. He knew this would come up eventually, it still didn’t stop his heart from pounding in his chest.

Slip raised an eyebrow in response. “You know the Boss is not going to accept that answer”.

“Well, he’s gonna have to. I’m not going this year…. or ever again for that matter”.

“Run it by me again why you’re doing this?”

Finn’s eyes looked everywhere but at Slip. “Come on man. We already talked about this”.

“I know, but I was expecting you to realize this was a bad idea by now”. Slip was supportive of anything his friend did, but Finn had a rebellious streak that he never grew out of.

“I- look Slip. You of all people know what the First Order is about. I left because I tried for years to change it from the inside and it didn’t work, so I got out”.

He tried not to raise his voice, but Finn was too stubborn sometimes. “This is not something you can get out of Finn, you know this”. Finn stared at his desk. He did know he couldn’t truly get out. That fact wouldn’t destroy his hope though. Even though he loved his family dearly he couldn’t condone what they did.

All the back room deals, bribes, and murder. It was too much.

Initially, he planned to go to the FBI with everything he knew. He knew he’d be shunned, maybe even killed, but he felt ready to turn them all in. That is, until his contact with the FBI went missing and he received photos with the contact’s wife and young children in their living room with a bullseye placed over their faces. It was disgusting, and quite unexpected.

Finn held no illusion about the vile stuff his father does, but he thought it was against his code to kill kids. Finn later learned it was a higher up within the FBI that sent him the photos.

He actually went to his mother for help. He couldn’t stop himself, so he told her everything. His plan to testify, the disappearance of the contact, the threat on the kids, everything. It wasn’t his initial plan, but his mother had a way of getting men to spill their guts to her. He had just literally spilled his guts right before meeting with her, so he supposed he should have expected it.

Later that day, it was his father who reminded Finn of just how corrupt the government was. The influence of the Hux family runs deep.

It seemed clear to Finn that his family would never pay for their crimes. It would only put innocent people at risk, and any evidence against them would either go missing or be inadmissible in court. So while he still hated himself for not following through he was, at the moment, in a huge bind.

The worst part of all was his family didn’t seem to begrudge him for it. Their continued acceptance of the person who tried to destroy them from within was unsettling. Finn still left the family business, but he knew in his heart he couldn’t really escape from them.

After the last client left, Slip drove the pair to their split-level duplex in St. Petersburg Florida. The long drive across the bridge on Interstate 275 gave Finn a lot of time to think about the invitation. This was the first year since he left, and he had never missed the winter gala before.

He thought he had made it clear that he didn’t want anything to do with them. That didn’t stop them from sending the card that felt more like a command than an invitation. It didn’t stop them from knowing their grip on him was as strong as ever.

Normally, Slip would give the other man his space by staying on his side of the duplex after work. Slip didn’t think that was the best idea right now considering the solemn look on his friends face. So he stood just behind Finn as he unlocked the door that had a key slot and a key pad that had to be timed just right in order to enter.  Slip followed behind quietly as Finn went to the hallway and he put the security system on standby.

Finn and Slip lived in a middle-class neighborhood full of white picket fences and fit people walking their dogs. His mother was a little wary of her son living in such a “poor” environment, but she eventually gave the place her blessing.

He didn’t waste any time getting comfortable today. Using his index finger, he tugged at his grey tie until it came loose. Then he started to unbutton his shirt. Lost in his own thoughts he forgot that he had an audience.

Slip’s eyes widened and he felt heat creep up his neck as Finn’s broad shoulders were revealed. When the button down shirt was dropped on the floor from exhaustion, Slip took the time to appreciate the way Finn’s muscles moved. Biting his lip, he tried to stay professional but he couldn’t take his eyes from the small of his back. His weapon was mostly visible. It wasn’t uncommon for him to fantasize about the firm muscles and smooth skin that were hidden by Finn’s tailor-made pants.

Stepping behind him, Slip slowly gripped the sides of Finn’s shoulders in his hands. Finn felt the tension fade away when Slip started to rub his shoulders. After releasing a pleased sigh Finn turned, and he became aware of just how close they were. Slip’s hands didn’t let go. They were close enough that Finn could see Slip’s cheeks were pink. He could hear the beating of the other man’s heart.

“Um”, Finn stepped back and gently pushed Slip away. He was having a hard time meeting his friend’s gaze for some reason, but he really just wanted to relax for the evening and think. “Uh. Thanks, for helping me get through the day…” He felt like he should say more, but that was all he had to give.

Red cheeks slipped into a shy smile as Slip nodded and took two steps away from the other. Then he made his way to his half of the duplex. Once the door that connected the two sides clicked shut, Finn decided he wanted to lay down for a while.

As he waked to his large bedroom, Finn wondered if a glass of wine would help him sleep better. Turning on the light he was startled by the person lounging in his bed. His first instinct was to grab the gun that was tucked in the back of his pants, but he wouldn’t need it.

Laying on Finn’s bed was a tall man with one leg stretched out and the other bent at the knee. His hands were crossed behind his head, and they locked eyes as soon as Finn stepped through the door. He was dressed in all black, but that was just his M.O.

“What- the fuck are you doing here, Kylo?” Finn didn’t try to hide the accusation in his voice.

Kylo looks up at him through his lashes, and smiles.


	2. Triangles

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This chapter was not reviewed by a beta reader. The chapters after this will be beta read.

_What the fuck are you doing here, Kylo?_

Finn examined the man he hadn’t seen in about a year. Kylo seemed healthy enough. He was surprisingly calm, and apparently had let his hair grow out a couple of inches.

Finn tried to get a read on his intentions, but his facial expression didn’t give much away. Once Finn’s heart stopped pounding from the shock of his uninvited guest, he worked to regain his composure. He tried distracting himself by focusing on Kylo’s outfit. It didn’t help much.  

His guest was wearing his favorite jet black boots that went up to his calves and had several thick buckles on it. He wouldn’t admit it to anyone, but seeing a man in black boots did something wicked to Finn’s soul.

Moving his gaze up Kylo’s body, he could appreciate the tight black jeans that hugged his legs perfectly. The look was completed with a black polo top. The top three buttons were undone making part of his chest visible. With all the black you would think he would look sort of goth, and he did, but the polo shirt stretching at his chest made the look slightly preppy as well.

Kylo had never been a popular guy growing up. The way he behaved confused a lot of people and most didn’t take the time to figure him out like Finn did. Kylo was shy and kept to himself, but he also had this cocky look about him that pissed people off. The man also had a temper that didn’t come out often, but scared many people away when it did. Kylo always acted like he didn’t care that people avoided him, but Finn knew that wasn’t true.

One day a few years back Kylo let it slip that his friendship with Finn was one of the few joys of his life. It crushed Finn when he thought about how painful Kylo’s life has been. Especially since it was at the hands of _his_ family.

Finn was lost in his thoughts when he thought back to when Kylo was 20 years old. He was the son of a senator that lost during the last election, and a business man that unbeknownst to many was a smuggler. Kylo’s father Han had completed many business deals with Finn’s father over the years; it was during one of these deals that Kylo and Finn became close.  Everything was great until Han’s flaw was revealed. He was a compulsive gambler. It didn’t take long, but he had accumulated a lot of debt that he owed the Hux family a lot of money. Since they had a long history he gave Han a lot of chances, but even’s a Hux’s patience can run out. So, he sent in a couple guys and they kidnapped Kylo’s younger sister Rey. She was 10 at the time. It wasn’t until years later that he heard all the details, but the situation resolved itself when Kylo agreed to work for the Order until the debt was paid.

Rey was returned safely, and Kylo will work for Finn’s family until the day he dies.

A flash of silver brought Finn back to the man presently on his bed.  A ring on Kylo’s index finger travelled down his chest to rest near his pants buckle. Finn followed the movement before he knew what he was doing. Once he realized he was staring his cheeks felt hot, so he averted his gaze to Kylo’s face. On the bed, Kylo had his other hand tucked behind his head and he raised an eyebrow at Finn in question.

Finn coughed to give himself time to play it off. “I know my bed is comfy and all, but why are _you_ in it?”

“I was waiting for you”.

“Waiting for me…”, Finn mumbled under his breath. A little louder he continued, “For what?”

Kylo tilted his head to the side and looked at Finn curiously. He was pleased to know that Finn kept up with his training regime if his six-pack and toned chest was any indication. _Damn_ , he thought.

It’s been years since he took a more than friendly interest in Finn. It took even more time for Kylo to believe he even had a chance with his friend. He wasn’t lacking in confidence like he did as a kid, but once he became one of the Order’s hired guns he felt unclean. He was afraid to stain Finn with all the blood on his hands. So, he kept an emotional and at times physical distance to keep his desires under control. Although it wasn’t the outcome he wanted he could accept the two of them staying just friends. What he couldn’t accept was Slip trying to sweet talk his way into Finn’s bed.

Finn inched closer and got frustrated by Kylo’s unhelpful answer. “Seriously, man. What’s going on?”.

The other yawned before he raised both arms over his head and stretched. A few of his joints popped from all the stress he felt lately. Finn didn’t notice the click of a door lock. Then Kylo rose from the bed.

Finn held his gaze as the other stood to his full height. Kylo was only a few inches taller than him, but sometimes it seemed like more. Today was one of those time, so Finn fought the desire to take a step back when Kylo moved closer.  

The sound of the floor creaking was the only warning Finn got before they both heard a gun cocking. Moving quickly, Kylo grabbed Finn’s bicep and swung Finn behind him as he reached back for his own gun with the other. Due to his training, Finn reached back at the same time and the echo of two more pistols cocking filled the silent air.

A man stood firm at the entrance to Finn’s room. “What are you doing here, Kylo?”

The man in the doorway was Slip. His gun was pointed straight at Kylo’s head who was matching Slip’s posture completely. Finn’s gun was also pointed at Slip, but he dropped it immediately once he recognized who it was.

Since he was still behind Kylo, Finn missed the look of determination on his face. “So is this how we settle things?”

Slip smiled at Kylo in mock amusement.

“Kylo… Slip… Put your guns down”.

Finn didn’t know why they didn’t do that in the first place. Both Slip and Kylo were bodyguards of the Hux family. While Slip was assigned to Finn, Kylo had been assigned to Finn’s father, _the_ Harold “Snoke” Hux.

When neither one listened to him Finn continued, “Seriously you two. This isn’t funny,” moving to Kylo’s side he looked directly at Slip, “What _are_ you doing here anyway?”

Slip tried not the let the disappointment show in his voice. His grip on his gun tightened, “The heart monitor on your watch suddenly spiked, so I knew you were in trouble”.

“He _might_ have gotten into trouble if you hadn’t interrupted us”, Kylo replied. Finn huffed and looked at Kylo incredulously. His friend was always a bit eccentric, that was one of his charms, but he seemed off today. “Don’t you knock? He could have been working out”.

Slip was done with Kylo’s attitude, “What kind of workout gets someone’s heart spiking in 5 seconds?”

Kylo raised a brow in amusement.

“What?” Slip snapped.

Kylo grinned, “Apparently, the kind you’re unfamiliar with”.  Slip blushed.

Finn glanced back and forth between the two of them. All the while these fools still had their guns aimed to blow each other’s heads off. Finn felt caught off guard by their ‘let the gun do the talking’ attitude. Strange as it seemed, he was starting to think there was something else going on.

Neither Kylo nor Slip seemed willing to back down. Finn expected this sort of reckless behavior from Kylo, but with Slip this was way out the box. “What’s wrong with you two? Put your guns down”.

Slip’s hands wavered before steading them. “I asked him a simple question, and for some reason he won’t answer. I’m just doing my job”.

Finn knew that things were spiraling out of control. These two always had a weird tension between them, and Finn usually ignored it, but this was too much. “Look at me Slip”. Slip didn’t comply, so Finn repeated himself with a slower pace, “Look- at- me”. The air of command in his voice finally drew Slip’s focus to him. “I’m fine, okay. I’m safe. Just put your gun away. Now,” Not wasting any time, he directed his attention to the other, “You too Kylo”.

Slip’s jaw tightened but he sharply lowered the gun. Kylo did the same, albeit more slowly.

Finn released a sigh of relief as they both returned their guns it’s holster. He felt grateful these idiots finally decided to listen. Still, it felt like an uncomfortably close call.

What the two didn’t know was the whole time they were focused on each other Finn had reached back for his own gun again. He didn’t remove it this time, but his right hand was gripping it tightly. Luckily they both wised up. If they didn’t, they were going to have matching bullet holes in their foot for being a dumb ass. “Great!” Finn said sarcastically, “Now that the dick measuring contest is over, can one of you _finally_ tell me why you guys hate each other so damn much?”

Kylo stared up at the ceiling and Slip shifted his weight from one foot to the other. _Okay, so they’re gonna be stubborn about this... Fine._ “Look, I trust the both of you,” Finn started, “We all used to be cool until a couple years ago. So, if you two are gonna act an ass I gotta know why”.

Kylo opened his mouth before shutting it. After trying to get a read on Finn he said, “Is it really that hard to figure it out?”

“Apparently!” Finn shouted. He hated losing his cool but he still felt terrified. “Look, if I knew what was going on I wouldn’t be asking right?” Then a thought came to him and he couldn’t believe it missed it for so long. “Okay… I get it. You two hooked up, someone caught feelings, and now it’s awkward am I right?”

Both Kylo and Slip looked at him incredulously. “Are you joking?” “Hooked up?” They blurted out respectively. Finn shrugged at Kylo’s blank expression.

“All I’m saying is you two are always competing with each other…trying to prove who’s the best”, Finn replied.

“Yeah. Something like that”, Slip mumbled.

Finn sighed and gave him a look of ‘come on then’. “Okay, so disgruntled exes don’t fit. What’s the problem then?”

Slip and Kylo locked eyes for a few moments. Then Slip’s gaze fell and he simply shrugged. His shoulders were hunched over.

Finn gave Kylo as stern look as he still wanted an answer. “As you said, we used to be _cool_. But that was before we wanted the same thing”, Kylo replied.

Finn tightly closed his eyes and thought about Kylo’s words. By doing so he failed to notice the way both Kylo and Slip smiled at him fondly. He remembered that they both wanted to guard him, but only Slip got the job. It was a greater honor that Kylo was a guard for the Order’s head, but he always acted like he lost something.

Finn was surprised that they would still hold a grudge over something like that. “Well ya’ll need to work that shit out”.

“We intend to,” Kylo replied returning his eyes to Slip who nodded in agreement.

Finn took a step back and briefly turned away from the other two before he turning back. “Well since that’s taken care of, Kylo can you tell us why you were in my house in the first place?”.

Slip’s back straightened, eager to hear the answer.

Kylo cleared his throat and said, “Your parents contacted you earlier,” Finn gave him a blank look when he continued, “but you didn’t respond.”

“What do you mean they contacted…?” Finn fumbled to pull out his phone. He had no missed calls. Finn released a deep exhale to calm his nerves.

 “You received their invitation”, Kylo said matter-of-factly.

Finn didn’t respond to Kylo’s accusation. He didn’t have to.

He should have known his parents expected a response once he received it.

 Slip assumed Finn already contacted his parents. Earlier in the day he called and spoke to Finn’s mother while Finn was with a client. It was always expected, that if you receive a message from the boss or his wife that you respond ASAP.

Finn knew the rules, but assumed it would be different after he left. _Why did they invite me? I’m not a part of the Order anymore. I’m a Hux in name only._ Finn refused to accept what was happening. He hoped that if he closed his eyes everything and everyone would just leave him the hell alone.

Finn opened his eyes and of course nothing had changed.

Kylo took a step closer and Finn looked up him, begging with his eyes for him not to continue, “Your father sent me. He says you’re to return home, immediately”.

 

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren)


	3. Dreams Become Nightmares

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> ***TRIGGER WARNING. I've added four new tags that will be throughout the fic moving forward.***
> 
> Thanks 2livenlove for the beta read and all your support! Any remaining mistakes are my own. 
> 
> **Based on a comment I received, I added this note that will hopefully prepare you before you read this chapter. This has a very different feel/writing style from previous chapters as you will get a front-row experience into Finn's mind as his mood changes, he dissociates, and experiences a panic attack b/c of the troubling things in his past that are alluded to, and left intentionally vague. In a lot of fics the reader knows things that the main character isn't aware of yet, but this time it's the reverse. That might be unsettling for some. His past will be revealed in future chapters, so we will learn more in time. I tried out some new things in this chapter, so I hope you comment on what worked for you and what didn't. If you don't feel comfortable leaving a comment here you can send me a private message on tumblr**
> 
> Anyways I had so much fun writing this chapter! I hope you enjoy.

“No”. 

Kylo responded to Finn’s response with a look of annoyance.

Slip stepped closer to Finn with a deep frown on his face. “Uh. I don’t think that’s a good idea”.

Finn wasn’t the least bit surprised that Slip wasn’t on his side. Rejecting a Hux invitation is not a thing people do. 

It’s not something he would have done, but the time apart from his family made him more likely to take risks. 

Kylo also gave Finn a disapproving look, but there was something else in his eyes that made Finn’s palms sweat. “Look. I’ve made it clear that I am done. I’m tired of rehashing this”. 

Slip started to open his mouth and quickly shut it. Then he looked over at Kylo seemingly in an attempt for support. The reply he received was a shrug. Slip huffed at Kylo’s feigned indifference. 

“Finn. The last thing you want is to anger your father… or mother. It’s just a stupid gala. You show your face, pay your respects to the Boss, eat their food, and get them off your back for a while. It’s a win-win really”. Slip tried to go for humor since reason wasn’t going very well today.

“I fail to see the winning part. There’s no way I’m gonna run back home like the prodigal son just because  _ he _ wants to keep up appearances”. 

Slip didn’t understand what Finn was trying to prove. He acted like he cut off his family, but he followed the order to have Slip be his bodyguard. That Finn thought he actually had a choice was mind boggling. 

“Okay. I can see both of you are worried. Slip, why don’t we lay low for a while? We’ll close the shop for a bit and once things blow over we’re back in business”. 

For Finn’s sake Kylo couldn’t hold his tongue any longer. “They have people everywhere Finn. You’re not the only one at risk from your stubbornness”. 

“You’re right”, the other two shared a sigh of relief, “Slip should go then. It’s safer that way”. Their relief was short-lived.

“With all due respect, Finn. But that’s the dumbest thing I ever heard”, Slip replied rolling his eyes. 

Finn turned his back on them. He didn’t want to say another word about it. 

His friends would take the fall for his rebellion, Finn knew that, but he had to do this. Both men knew his thoughts on the matter and continued to stick with him despite the risks.

To damper his worries, Finn told himself that mostly likely they would be docked pay and be publically shamed. At worst they might be roughed up a bit.

_ This is the only way the order will respect me. _

Finn was hopeful that if he was lucky his parents might disown him for good.

He turned back around to face them as the future looked a little brighter. 

_ They’ll get off my back for good _ , Finn thought with the barest hint of a smile.

Slip was ready to beat the truth into Finn’s head when Kylo placed a heavy hand on his shoulder. Slip looked up at him, and the other man shook his head. 

Slip sighed and his shoulders fell. Kylo then released Slip before he put his right fist over his heart and bowed to Finn. 

His stance looked uncomfortably stiff and his expression was blank.

Finn tried to mask his disgust at this display, but he didn’t think he succeeded very well. Just as Kylo turned to leave, Finn thought he saw a flash of sadness pass over Kylo’s face, but he couldn’t be sure.

Kylo walked out the room.

As his footsteps moved closer to the front door, Slip looked back and forth between Finn and the direction Kylo had gone. His face turned red and his eyes looked watery before he rushed over to Kylo in the other room. 

Finn sat heavily on his bed, exhausted by the whole encounter. He couldn’t make out any words but it was clear that the two were speaking to each other in hushed voices. 

After a few minutes, the sound of a car ignition was the only clue that Kylo had left. 

Finn laid back on his bed, enjoying the silence for a moment. 

 

His mind was often crowded with recurring thoughts of doubt and worry. It was only when he was completely exhausted that the thoughts quieted down for a while.

He barely had time to get comfortable when Slip peeked his head in the room. Finn gave no indication that he noticed him. Slip sighed and retired to his own room.

Finn didn’t read much into it when Slip’s door slammed shut. It did not take long for him to drift off to sleep.

 

The sounds of birds woke Finn early the next morning. He opened his eyes and squinted at the bright light coming in through his blinds. 

He clasped his hands and reached above his head while stretching his toes in the opposite direction. After he finished a few simple stretches, Finn released a small yawn, and smiled.

Not wanting to waste any time, Finn jumped out of bed and grabbed his travel bags. 

After he found his two large suitcases and his laptop bag Finn decided to stream some music. He connected his phone to the speakers and searched for the perfect song that would match how he felt

His hips swayed a little to match the beat. Finn went through a quick mental checklist to figure out what he would need and where he planned to go. 

He started to sing along with the popular tune, “Here comes bad news talkin’ this and that...But give me all you’ve got, and don’t hold it back…” 

_ Slip will need a list of all the clients that need to be referred elsewhere. Okay, I gotta grab my toothbrush...toothpaste...boxers…what else? _

He started grabbing a few t-shirts and other belongings before stuffing them in one of the bags. 

_ Because I’m happy.  _

_ Clap along if you feel like a room without a roof. _

_ Because I’m happy. _

_ Clap along if you feel like happiness is the truth. _

 

It didn’t take him long to find everything he needed because thankfully he was so organized. It didn’t hurt that one of his bags was already packed for emergencies. 

_ Ha ha, I bet they’ll forget about me until the next gala. Gonna miss Bren though.  _

Finn paused for a moment and thought about what this would mean to his older brother. Leaving the order meant leaving Bren behind too. 

Finn inhaled a deep breath, and breathed out any regrets. He knew his brother would understand.

He chose to believe that his brother would also leave the order some day.

Another of Finn’s favorite songs from a few years back started play, and Finn was distracted from his thoughts.

“From here on out, I’ll be your commander”, he sang even louder than he did the first time. 

_ Kelly Rowland is so underrated, damn. _

It only took him a few more minutes before he had everything in order. 

 

Finn practically skipped to Slip’s room and he knocked on the door three times before letting himself in. He and Slip didn’t keep much from each other, three knocks was just enough time to pretend you weren’t just jacking off. 

He wasn’t surprised to see Slip doing push ups beside his bed. Slip was always awake first no matter what time Finn woke up. 

Slip didn’t seem surprised to see the bags in Finn’s hands. He barely paused before he returned to his exercise. He was covered with sweat, so he must have been at this for a while. 

He completed a few more reps before he rose to sit on his heels. He grabbed a small towel next to him and dried his face before he dragged the towel over a toned chest. 

Slip looked again at Finn’s bags before he solemnly said, “So you’re really going then?”

“Yep! I emailed you a list of the clients to cancel along with some places they can be referred to. It shouldn’t take too long”.

“I doubt it will”. Slip did not begrudge his friend for his current lack of thoughtfulness. When Finn got excited he had a one-tracked mind, and right now he was thrilled to move on with his life. Excited to move on without him.

“Do you need me to drive you somewhere”?

“No. Thanks though. The less you know… well, you know”.

“So you do have some concern to spare then”?

“What do you mean?” Finn started to frown.

Slip sighed, and ran his hand over his damp hair. “I’m saying I’m not the only one you should be worried about”.  

Finn replied with a blank expression.

Slip sighed again in disbelief. “Kylo! You also need to worry about Kylo, Finn.”

Finn wasn’t sure what made Slip think he wasn’t worrying about Kylo too, but he had thought things through from every angle. “Come on Slip. This is Kylo. Besides, if things go sour Bren will fix it. He’s practically obsessed with him”. 

“But the boss and your mother”.

“Yeah, he’s going to be pissed, but Bren will fix it”.

“But I don’t think you -”.

“Stop”, Finn cut him off. “You worry too much Slip. Just trust me okay”, he whispered. 

“Okay”.

Finn put down his bags and moved to kneel in front of his friend. Taking one of Slips hands in his own he looked deep into Slip’s eyes. “I don’t want to leave you here, but if they find me…”, Finn shook his head, “You, Kylo, and Bren. You’ll be alright”.

Finn smiled as he cupped Slip’s face in his hands, and wiped away his best friend’s tears. 

Feeling his resolve start to wain, Finn tried not to  linger for too long as he kissed his cheek. Then he grabbed his bags and headed to his car.

He threw the bags in the trunk  and as he hopped in the front seat, he put on his shades, and he was gone.

 

The rainbow colors in the sky as the evening neared dusk was Finn’s first clue that his awesome plan of escape was not the best planned out. He was still in St. Petersburg actually.

He initially planned to drive straight to Tampa International Airport and figure out a safe location to fly to  when he got there. However, when he drove by the downtown area he felt hungry and he decided to make the most of his last day in Tampa Bay.

So he went to his favorite brunch spot, drank some coffee, and looked up flight plans on his laptop. He had a couple of options, and decided it wasn’t worth it to drive all the way to Jacksonville when he could waste a couple hours relaxing nearby. He had nothing to worry about anyway.

He booked his flight and rental car in a country he felt safe enough to lay low at for least for at least a couple months. Afterwards he decided to walk around the downtown area to pass the time. All throughout the day his phone kept vibrating.

Finn assumed the non-stop calls were from Slip, or maybe even Kylo. He figured they  both felt increasingly uneasy since he hadn’t called them back yet. 

His father used to tell them that people will think you’re a joke if you don’t follow through on your word. He didn’t feel the smallest bit of guilt that he was using one of the few pieces of advice his old man taught him.

The only thing he wasn’t excited about was never seeing Kylo, Slip, or his brother again. 

The thought of not being able to see that sexy smirk on Kylo’s face or hear Slip’s goofy ass laugh was really crushing the joy out of this perfect day.

 

An alarm on his phone alerted Finn that it was time to head to the airport. When he dismissed the alarm he saw a notification that made the blood run from his face.

Going through several messages, he saw the same code from his brother, Brendol.

Finn’s heart started to pound when he realized he had about 10 missed texts and 1 missed call from his father. 

He could tell the texts had attachments, but since he did not have his phone connected to the internet at the moment the contents were unknown.

Finn contemplated ignoring all of it. He thought about slamming his phone on the ground and stomping on it over and over. *0413* was an emergency code his brother, Kylo, and Slip used that was related to a specific person.

It’s not something you use if that person was in the hospital from a heart attack. This was specifically related to an emergency related to the order. 

“Damn it”!

Shocked bystanders stared at Finn for his outburst, and his palms started to sweat. He ignored all the judging faces and wiped his palms on his jeans. He didn’t know whether he should stand up and run or keep sitting.

It was a shock that he couldn’t even go a full day without some kind of devastation.

Regret started to overwhelm the fear he felt. Regret that he didn’t get a burner phone right away. He could ignore a thing if he wasn’t aware of it. But now that he knew he didn’t know what to do.

All of his bravado notwithstanding, Finn was quite terrified of both his parents. He thought he knew what they were capable of, but he underestimated how far they were willing to go. Now he had little time to figure out what to do.

He placed his phone on the table for a few minutes, his finger tapping on the table as he thought. Then he picked the phone back up and unlocked it before dropping it back on the table. 

The man’s eyes started looking at the people nearby. No one was paying him any mind after his initial outburst. People quickly walked all around him. Some were laughing with friends, most walked in and out of shops, and chatted on their phones. Not a single soul asked him why he was rubbing his arm like he was trying to scrub blood off the sheets. 

Life continued on, seemingly uncaring of the distress the young man was in.

He grabbed his phone again, gripped tightly in his right hand. It was getting harder to hold back the tears. 

The reminder to stay grounded popped in his mind, so Finn focused on that. He was sitting outside on an uncomfortable chair in downtown St. Petersburg. It was a little after 7pm, so the sun was setting, and the air was very humid.

He had hoped that no one would think to contact him until after he was out of the country. This plan was not going as well as he had hoped.

_ Okay, stay calm stay calm. Open them... and send father the eff you emoji.  _

He still felt uneasy but he did feel more relaxed as he turned the data on his phone. 

 

The initial picture was exactly what  he expected.

It  was of his father’s wrist. His deceptively simple watch taking center stage.

Next, was an image of a dull white suitcase with brownish looking blotches all over it. Finn started to feel queasy.

After that, the  images were zoomed out, and showed a man in a nailed down chair with a potato sack covering  his head. Each image showed more blood than the last.

The last photo was of a familiar tattoo.

Finn immediately called Slip and felt foolish when it went straight to voicemail.

Then he called Kylo and it ringed but no one answered. 

Finn gripped his right leg tightly when the flimsy table started to shake as his knee kept bumping into it. For the fifth time that day he checked his flight plans. His flight was still on-time, scheduled to start boarding in less than 2 hours. 

He quickly put together the best way to fix this without caving to his father’s whims. Finn knew there was only one person who would make things right.

 

When the line is answered, all he hears is the sound of breathing and distant voices for a couple seconds and then, “Brendol speaking”.

“Bren. You gotta help him”, he rushed out. 

“Haven’t heard from you in a while”, Brendol replied calmly, “What’s new”? 

Finn furrowed his eyebrows. The casual question was not the response he expected. 

“Besides the usual” Brendol continued. 

“Usual? What-”? 

Brendol gave a dark chuckle. “Oh, you know”.

“Screw it. There’s no time, we-”. Finn wasn’t in the mood to rehash old drama.

“Don’t… tell me what we have time for”.

Finn pouted. “Bren I- you don’t understand. Back then… It was the right thing to do”.

“Excuse me”?

“You don’t. You, and father, and mother. All of you… ”, Finn stopped before he lost control. A drop of sweat rolled down his forehead. 

“All of you what”?

The volume of his voice continued to rise which every word he spoke. “None of you do the right thing”.

“According to whom”, he asked accusingly. 

Brendol’s words were like a heavy weight on Finn’s heart. The sounds of stop and go traffic easily heard through the phone went unnoticed by Finn. Time was running out, but his brother had a one-track mind.

“Actually, I do”. Brendol’s voice had returned to its steady and commanding candor.

“What”? Finn had gotten lost in his thoughts, and he couldn’t remember the last thing he had said to his brother.

“Tell me. Is something right if it only serves one person, against the benefit of others”? 

Finn tried to defend himself but his brother continued on. “You better shut your mouth,” Brendol sighed and stretched his neck to the side until he heard a light pop. “You live in a world that doesn’t exist. You look down on the rest of us who refuse to live in your fantasy”. 

Finn tried to come up with a response, but he was stuck on his brother’s condemnation of him.

“You have until 8 o’clock”. It was 7:35.

The call ended, and so did Finn’s hope. 

It wasn’t until a kid sitting across from him looked at him strangely that he became aware that he was scratching his right arm. There were a few spots where the top layer of skin looked raw. No matter what he tried, the urge to scratch wouldn’t stop.

Finn knew the stain of this choice would forever color his soul. The young man was determined to escape.

 

If a reality show was filming him, it would have been apparent that something was off. One minute he opened his trunk to put his laptop in a bag, and after he blinked he was going 85 on the highway. 

Music did nothing to help. An angry driver honked as his car creeped into their lane.

“Pull over you drunk”, the man yelled out his window, Finn only heard a muffled voice. 

Dark thoughts plagued his mind. Thoughts therapy was supposed to get rid off.

A sign for the exit to his parent’s estate was barely noticed overhead. 

A little boy cried.  _ I can't. I can’t. _

Finn’s vision constricted until everything went dark. Bumps in the road made the car shake.

As his car veered sharply to the left. There were sounds of tires screeching, horns, and crunched metal. All of this felt like a violation to the peaceful colors of the setting sun.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> The song lyrics are from "Happy" by Pharrell Williams, and "Commander" by Kelly Rowland. 
> 
>  
> 
> [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren)

**Author's Note:**

> You can always find me on [Tumblr](https://www.tumblr.com/blog/kyloandfinnren)


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